Chance Wayne Wilcox

Lukas' 3rd BD was yesterday and I bought him his 1st leather ball glove and baseball from you.  It was so strange, he dug through all the presents and dug that out and he was so excited and he played with it rest of his party...so weird.  But I had thoughts of how proud you were when you started playing ball for the first time.  You lived and beathed baseball as a child.  Maybe Lukas' will have the same drive as you did for sports.  He loves anything that involves a ball, except soccer.  He is crazy for basketball to.

 

I came home last night and thoughts of your laugh kept going through my mind.  When you laughed, you laughed hard.  I miss that laugh!  So does the rest of the family and your friends...we all talk about how much you cut up and how much you laughed.  Such the prankster you were.

 

My memories are so many and so missed.  I have a hard time thinking of all those memories still because it breaks my heart that the future memories we would have had, have so selfishly been taken from us.  Its still just unfathnable you have been taken from us. 

 

I love you and miss you and my heart is broken forever!

 

Mom

 

 

Shelli—I hope you will indulge me as this memory is from my childhood, but I hope you will enjoy it and find something of Chance within it... he was a charmer and found ways to "charm" folks in unique ways. When I was in the 2nd grade during our Halloween Festival at school I was voted the princess of the class. Yes, there was a prince as well. Both of us were responsible for raising funds for our school. Aunt Nita was so popular and knew so many people. She took me around to many places including the apartment house she and Uncle Bob owned and helped me collect coins from everyone. I thought this was a teriffic idea! I mean it was like manna from Heaven... So I smiled, collected the coins AND then went back to everyone saying how poor we were and we needed money just to eat and pay our rent (there's another story connected to this your mom may remember). Of course, they gave me MORE coins. My class won the fundraising competition for our school, but I got in trouble after the fact because the tenants in the apartment house told Aunt Nita what I had done. I had to apologize to everyone and return their money, but no one would take it back! Everyone laughed and said I was very enterprising and as long as my school received the money it was worth it. The bottom-line was that my bottom stung a long time after!!!

It has been 7 months the day I moved I know you were there I got 2 dimes at the hardest times and my FIRST feather it is beautiful. It does not seem like 7 months so sad. I was unpacking and found so many things. Lots of pictures it was a hard night and today is not easy. Harlie's b-day party was great you were there I have you in the pictures I knew you would not miss it for the world. SO many orbs in ALL of the photos crazy. We all miss you so much life is never going to be the same ever. So many peoples lifes have been turned upside down over a careless mistake and a manufacuter defect. This could all have been prevented. I am going to need your help now that the kids and I are alone protect us and keep us safe in your wings.

Oh remember all of our Halloweens. You were always sick with a migraine only because you would work yourself up all day and by the time we went you had a migraine. I always had to take your bag with me and tell people my little brother was home sick and I had his bag. At this time in day I do not really take the kids trick or treating we go to the church and a few neighbors and that is it not like when we were little and would stay out for hours. Dress scary this year and come with us you always liked to scare people JUST MAKE SURE it is not Me HA HA you now how scared I get so easily. Lukas is going to be batman and Harlie is going to be a princess. You always wanted to be something scary or gross and one year a devil that was one of the years you were the sickest at Aunt Rhonda's just laying on the couch out of it and we had to bring the bag back to you and the next day you would enjoy it. Can you beleive Lukas's b-day is the day after halloween I bet he will enjoy that when he gets a little older you would have loved that also if you were still here I bet you would have had some great parties and times with him. The kids miss you so much we all do. We talk about you everyday to them and tell them about you. Poor Lukas associates every cemetery we pass with you he wants to stop at all of them and see Chance he is so cute!

Just thinking about Harlie's birthday tomorrow and Sat for her party. Rememeber her at her 1st birthday at the park she was a little bald thing running around chasing after you in the field area. She thought you where the icing on the cake so to speak HA HA she still does. She lost a best friend this year. She will have a great b-day make sure you do the gymnastics with her she is excited about that. First year we are not having a home party. She asks about you all the time and talks ALL the time about you to everyone she meets. Always about her Uncle Sister. She cherishes the pink crystal rock she has it on her dresser and almost everynight she has to hold it so sad for me to watch her but it helps her you would think you were her dad with the way she hurts I guess you pretty much were that for her. She loves  you more than anything in the world.

Was thinking today about the summers as you and Amber being teenagers and us going to the lake and staying on the house boat all weekend long.  We all had so much fun, riding seado's and fishing.   You would fish for hours off the dock, and with leftover hotdogs!  You caught catfish with those like there was no tomorrow.  But we would laugh because you hated to take them off the hook and getting stung.  You always had all the girls down there on the dock chasing you to!  And you, Cory and Amber were always taking off on the wet bikes and going off exactly where we would ask you not to go.  You guys always thought us mom's (me and Tana) did not know that.  We did!  LOL  Those days seem a lifetime ago.  We love and miss you and are fighting of you and always will!  I love you, Mom

Was thinking about you this weekend as always. Remembering when Dad would scare us so bad. One time he came to the window of the room we were sleeping in, in white clothes all over and he said turn off the fan you were closest to the window and you would not do it to save your soul so I reached over you to do it and he grabbed my arm you catapulted over me and ran out of the room leaving me all alone. I just froze and started screaming. A few minutes later you came in the room and said it is ok it was just dad I looked up and there you two were him still dressed like he was and I started to scream more and you thought that was funny but of course you were not the one to turn off the fan either HA HA HA! I just laugh at all the times he scared us so many.

Tomorrow will be 6 months man it only feels like a month or less has gone by! I cried this morning on the way to work thinking of the times we had growing up. All the camping trips, weekends at MiMi and Papa's the apartments and all the crazy things you would do. You and Chris would get into so much trouble I remember the one time Jordan and I did not listen and went swimming at the pool without an adult or permission at that and she did a back flip off the side and cracked her head open we could not find either of our parents and we were freaking out you and Chris did not help at all you just laughed saying at least this time it is not me thanks for taking this one HA HA I was mad but you were right I was not the one usually in trouble for mischif you were. I was talking this morning about mischif and that is why I thought about that. You did not care one way or the other you just did things me no way I thought twice about what would happen to me, you just did and delt with it later NO WAY and NO THANK  YOU. But now we all miss that. I am sure Lukas will be you to a T and I am not ready for that I just hope I can remember the things you did and learn how to deal with it differently and help him out he is such a rascal he will be you all the way I am sure of that. He already does so much like you ALL BOY! He even looks like you everyday more and more he is getting YOUR eye color the only thing he will have differently is that dimple of his oh my will that be a lady charmer. We miss you so much here!

Reading Amber's memory yes it is so hard as days go by.  I had to a meltdown last night.  Had so many thoughts of if you were here how you would have us all informed and you would be out helping everyone.  Not to be.  I laugh about Amber's memory about when we had storms when we would have storms and I would get you out of bed and make us go to the bathroom in the hall by your rooms and bring your pillow and blankets and have you stay there while I watched what was going on with the storm.  You both would laugh saying MOM we will be ok, let us go back to our beds.  You guys would sit in there calling me a NUT and CRAZY and be laughing laughing.  Over the years you have always made a point to tell all your friends about me making you get in the bathroom or sleep in the tub during the storm.  I vividly remember reminding you you would have kids one day and then you would be doing the same thing...so go ahead and laugh!  And here we are and your sister did the same thing...protecting her babies.  We all miss you and love you so much!  MOM