Chance Wayne Wilcox

Today I am angry at the fact that you are gone. I am not as sad today as I am angry! WHY did this happen and why is she STILL free. . Today has been hard to deal with. Heard your song last night out with Kylea Billy Chelsea Matt Amber Alan and Jennifer. We saluted you when it came on and sang it for you! Did you see us? We had fun Chelsea really misses you as well. It has really hurt her that she has lost you and Brandon two people she cared about so much. We are all here for eachother we will make it through but some days are harder then others and this is one of those days. People say it gets easier NOPE they are wrong it gets harder as time goes they need to use another word. I think it just gets different each day but not easier. Harlie really misses you so much. She still talks about Uncle Sister everyday and still cries over it she will never recover from this the way we all will it has changed her life. Please stay with her and protect her as she grows older. Be her angel in heaven and make sure she has the best life she can! ^i^ Miss and love you!

The storm is over... Mimi and Papa's house had damage. We got lucky we just do not have power I was sure that all the trees around us that something would happen but it did not. I know you helped us THANK YOU! We are expected to not get power back for a few weeks that is hard but we will make it. During the storm I remembered when mom would wake us up for storms and make us go to our bathroom. We would tell her she was crazy we will be fine and laugh but we would do it well I found myself being mom I grabbed the kids up and put them in the hall way and we stayed there through the whole storm. All that was going through my mind was all the times we had to do that. We would play games and laugh not knowing what it meant to have a storm come through I know now I guess it is a mother thing.

With the fall approaching soon, my thoughts wandered to Halloween.  You used to get so excited about Halloween and trick-or-treating you would work yourself up into a bad headache and sometimes sick from all the excitement and all the candy!  I even have a picture of you in your little red devil outfit and your black moustache drawn on your face and you were just laying on the couch watching what was going on around you because you did not feel good.  Poor thing!

 

Then let's not forget Thanksgiving.  You started a month before anticipating all the food!  LOL  Every week, you would ask to make sure there was going to be all the things you liked and wanted to make sure you had an apple pie all to yourself!  Once the baton for cooking Thanksgiving dinner was passed from MiMi to me, you have always been here to help me cook and we had fun doing it.  I DO NOT KNOW HOW I am going to be able to do it this year without you!  I cannot even imagine being in the kitchen alone to cook Thanksgiving this year and you not here to eat your apple crunch pie.

 

For this year I was thinking of volunteering at Star of Hope Shelter in feeding the homeless, and then just all of us (family) going out for dinner, as I just could NOT have Thanksgivng at home without you here and I think all of us feel that way for this year.  I think it would be a better tribute to you for us to go help someone in need instead.

 

Forever, Mom

I remember when we would ride dirt bikes and four wheelers we would fight over them and then get in so much trouble that niether of us got to ride. Then we got smart and did not tell when we got mad and just figured it out. We had the yellow dirt bike I burned my leg on the back and you took it in the shed and put it up. I went and got pants on and we came back out side I was standing behind it and you started it up my white pants got black oil all over them I just gave up at that time I bet you did that on purpose to have it for yourself HA HA ;). Also the time when you and all your friends would go to the track and walk the trains. One of them fell into one of the cars and could not get out. We ran to tell dad he called the fire dept and Uncle Bruce was the first to respond thinking it was you in there he was so scared and mad at all of you for getting in it to begin with. Do you ride trains up in heaven? Harlie misses you sooooo much. Do you visit her? It hurts me so bad to watch her cry for you and talk about you. You where her everything. Just keep an eye out on her for me I am sure I will need extra help with her as she grows up ;). Bye for now.

Dearest Chance, Sadly you never got to know your Uncle Bruce, but the two of you share an obsession for baseball. Years ago Bruce was a coach and umpire for Little League—he enjoyed that beyond measure! So next time you are up at bat give your Uncle Bruce a wink from me. Your Mom has become a shining star with her passion to bring awareness about speeding drivers and the importance of wearing seat belts. Her advocacy will help save so many lives. I know you are so proud of her—as we all are! I'm getting to know more about you from the memories on these pages. You have become very dear to me. My prayers are with you and our family as we rebuild our lives after losing you and Bruce. It's a comfort to come here and visit with you. Please know we are with both of you every minute of everyday. You are loved and will never be forgotten.

Harlie started K I am so proud of her she already knew questions on her first day other kids did not, I know you are looking down on her with a smile. I went to Colorado and visited a reservation I brought you back a rock and arrowhead I put it at your grave. Are you enjoying Heaven? I bet you got to meet our family on Dad's side are they great? Ask them many questions about indian life and somehow let me know what they say I am so happy you get to meet them if you wanted to. I went by a street in Colorado it was Wilcox St how funny took a picture. Mom told me about the night of all the odd things happenening. Take it easy at nights HA HA she has to get some sleep sometime HA HA. She is glad you are showing your presence she has wanted that. I figured when she moved back to the old house you would show up over there. I got a dime driving to Wyoming. I had been in the car for 5 hours without getting out and for some reason I moved and looked down and between my legs was a dime on the seat no way it could have gotten there without you!!! Fly with the angels! ^i^  ^i^ We miss you here but we are getting through!!! Her .. trial should be soon help us out down here to get her punished. She took a life that was not complete and tore so many people up inside. I know if your seat belt had not malfunctioned and the damn door came off  you would have had a better chance of surviving.

Today my boss was telling a story about a frog and it made me remember the time when we were little at Dad's and we had that huge bull frog and thought we could have it as a pet and decided to try to take it for a walk and tied a shoelace to it but it kept hopping out of the string and we would have to chase it down we spent more time chasing it down then actually playing with it. Also that time you had a hamster and wanted to take it for a walk as well and ended up breaking its neck. I guess we learned you cannot put everything on a leash. I am waiting for the times Harlie and Lukas try to do these things. That is what hurts so bad is having a boy and a girl the same distance apart and watching them grow up as we did it is going to be extremely hard I know you are watching them but I just rather have you here watching them. Each day gets harder not easier.

Oh man I am guessing right now you are looking down laughing at me. Yes I tried a new color and style on my hair did NOT work out ha ha ha you would be rolling on the floor if you were here. First thing mom said when I told her was man would Chance like to see that. I have to wait a while to fix it but I will get it back to the way it was no more expereminting with hair color I am just going to stick with boring brown hahaha. We miss you alot here but I guess you already knew that.

Today is 4 months. Seems like yesterday this all happened. I was in the car on the way home the other day and heard the yellow rose of texas and of course cried. I remember when we were all little at Mimi and Papa's and we would get in front of the fireplace and sing that song and many more. That is the one that sticks out the most. We learned so many songs from camp and they still stick with me to this day. Do you sing them in heaven? I rememebered you always loved for me to sing and would brag about it that made me happy, now everytime I sing I think of you. I sing Amazing Grace ALL THE TIME for you I am sure you hear me. That was the one I always sang remember I am on camera doing that for homecoming man we were dorks but we had fun. I remember I was the crazy girl with braces that sang and you were the little "turtle" guy HA HA HA I know you rememeber that everyone does. So funny how you carried all your books in your bag instead of putting them in your locker. There are so many things I can write on here that I remember but I will not keep you. I will be back later to right more things. Everyday something new pops into my mind. It has been hard but we are getting through it one day at a time. Harlie talks about you EVERYDAY not 1 day has gone by. She still tells everyone about you. Watch over her and keep that sweet baby safe from harm, I know you will.

I would always call you on your Birthday and sing Happy Birthday. After I would

sing to you  you'd say," Sing it again MiMi. I cherish those memories and sang

it to you today and will every birthday hereafter. So many memories pop into

my head and I'm so glad I have them. Know you will have a great celebration

in heaven today and we're so thankful we had you, if only for a little while.You stone is beautiful. We'll be at your celebration this afternoon. Love you always.